Now, not Then
A few weeks ago I was in the produce section of our local Stop and Shop when someone said my name out loud and I turned to find myself looking into the face of a man that I had known back in elementary school. We caught up for a bit, exchanged phone numbers and surprised one another when we actually did meet up not too long afterward, at a local family pizza place. Since then we have met up for dinner a couple of times and each time that we’ve done so, our conversations have become a deep exchange of inner feelings that have long been dormant, for him at least.
Each time that I listen to him intently and watch him when he’s relaying one if his stories, my mind flashes on the young boy with the dark hair leaning his head against the school bus’s window as we made the ride home. He’d been unhappy then and I had felt sympathy for him: being a shy girl myself, I had had my share of being picked on. Now here he sat in front of me, this rather good looking forty-five year old male, who could recall every mean thing anyone had ever done to him from elementary school and up; and I wondered how I could help him shift some of his thinking from then to the here and now.
Meeting someone from your past, who remembers you as a youngster, is a really weird experience in time. You can actually feel the time difference, the progression of time. I flashed briefly on who I was then to who I am now: and what some of my desires had been then and what ones I’ve let go of. Some dreams are forever gone and some old feelings have stayed: but what also came out of this meeting him was the recognition that I, in the here and now, was doing okay. And that was awfully nice to know.
Sometimes it takes running into someone from our past to help reflect to us where we really are in our lives now, in this present moment. Sometimes it’s hard to see or feel or even believe that Life can improve, that things will get better, that perhaps even love is out there, still for us, to be touched by.
Whether we’ve been married, divorced, have remained single or are presently looking, we all have something within us that longs to connect with another person on a very personal level.
Remembering the child within us and seeing the adults we’ve become, can be helpful in starting to treat ourselves with gentleness; and, just as I hope to lead my friend to, maybe release some old hurts that may unconsciously be blocking the desire to find a true connection with another person.
As now is where we are all at, so it is now that we each have our chance to bring into our lives that which our hearts truly long for.