Isn’t that Just Like Life?
A few years ago I met a handsome, scruffy-looking man in his thirties who was both charming and appealing. He had need for a job and being in the position I was, I was able to offer him one. I didn’t know that he had both an alcohol and drug abuse problem: both were well hidden that only reared its head after he was hired.
Because he seemed down and out and generally throw by Life itself, I’d help him along the way, sometimes with just listening, sometimes with money…and there was a part of me that truly believed him when he said that once he got on his feet, he would help me in return, since no one else had given him a helping hand when he needed one. Perhaps even a part of me thought something could happen between the two of us, I don’t know.
In either case, I just got off the phone with him (seven years later) after he called about a car I was selling. He had put down the booze and drugs years ago and was now making money hand over fist, as well as having married a wealthy woman who adored him. Now he was a handsome, charming man in his forties who was still engaging and appealing, but completely uninterested of what I did for him in the past or who I am today.
Now, isn’t this how life often plays itself out? How many people have helped out someone along the way, possessed a genuine fondness and sympathy for them, were one of the few supportive people for that person: and yet once things became good for that person, were tossed aside and forgotten? Did the thanks ever come? Did we ever get a return on our empathy and compassion? Did our money ever come back to us? Were we remembered for being a kind person? And-did a relationship come out of it? Predictably, “no” to most, if not all, of the above.
As I’m sitting here writing this, there’s part of me that is feeling a combination of resentment and confusion. Why should he have everything handed to him after all the bad things he has done? Why should he have love present itself-with a secure financial future- when there are thousands of hard-working, loving people never catching a break? Why does he get love when some of us are still waiting?
Have you ever wondered if you are spending too much time trying to become lovable? It’s very difficult for those of us who love and give easily of ourselves to understand why we are still waiting for love while others seem to have it handed to them. Perhaps its time we understand that love has no rules and that in taking care of ourselves, we might just be surprised along the way. I don’t know for sure, but it seems to be that way a great deal of the time. Maybe we should give it a try.