Official (unwritten) rules of office romance
It only stands to reason that, since you spend at least half your waking hours at work, odds are good you'll eventually bump into somebody you want to spend more hours with. After all, you have common work interests. You hang out in the same general office space. You know many of the same people. In fact, the odds are great: almost 60 percent of employees polled by Vault.com admitted to having had an office romance, and nearly a quarter found long-term love.
True, this used to be a forbidden folly. It's no longer the no-no it once was, but an increasing number of companies—almost a quarter—do have formal policies, usually prohibiting employees from dating a direct subordinate or superior.
Most companies won't actually fire employees that slip, but it's still tricky business. Here are some foglamps for the infatuated.
Learn the local statutes
As for dating your boss or your subordinate, think about the imbalance of power. Think about performance reviews and discipline. Consider coworkers' perceptions of fair play and favoritism. And think what happens if your giddy fling flops—some people, no matter how noble they seem when romance is rosy, do not deal well with breakups. That may result in somebody's transfer, if not dismissal (and then, think about references). So be sure you understand the official ground rules before you start to play.
Mind your Ps and Qs.
Just as important, keep it quiet. You certainly don't want to be gossip fodder, so grit your teeth and keep your happy news to yourself, even when the grapevine is casting shadows on your idyll. You also don't want to complain to your squeeze about anybody at work. What if they know each other? What if they're business buddies? Until you're sure, keep it to yourself. Even if you're sure, don't ever, ever put it in an email! Nothing romantic or suggestive, either. You must know by now that you can't control who sees an email, no matter what little warnings you stick on it.
Check the exits
Talk about it. Know that the way through the workplace to true romance is fraught with potholes, rockslides, and speed traps. But if you both start with your starry eyes wide open, you can get there. Just picture the pleasures that await you, just past 5 pm.
If less than a quarter of office romances reach happily-ever-after, more than three-quarters crash and burn. It's a good idea to figure out where the escape routes are early on. You'll still have to see each other every day, maybe even work together. You'll still have to share office resources and business associates. Could you both keep an even keel? Would one of you transfer to a different department or location? Maybe even look for a new job?As long as you're at the office, keep it professional. Do your job. Maybe do it better than ever (what the heck—impress your honey). Avoid favors (giving or getting) like the plague. Do not—DO NOT—make googoo eyes over the copy machine or grab a quick grope in the supply closet.
Even away from work, if you're at a company function or just having drinks with office mates, it's a professional matter. Keep it hands-off. (Just think of the delicious anticipation you're building.) Most employers don't want to mess with your private life, but they do want to prevent disruptive situations. For example, 38 percent of employees reported catching unwanted advances from a coworker. What strikes you as the playful prelude to a first date may be awkward and uncomfortable for the object of your interest. That's why companies have policies on harassment.