Can An Online Relationship Be Unhealthy?
For our entire lives we will be involved in relationships. I’m not just talking about the one-on-one romantic relationship but all the other kinds of relationships that we come across: friendships, relationships with co-workers, family ties. Sometimes there are even relationships that defy categorization. Online relationships can be included in this category.
Within each of these situations is the potential to add richness to our lives by adding feelings of self-worth and enjoyment. Any relationship that produces these feelings is considered to be healthy. I think most of us know what constitutes a healthy relationship even if we all don’t have as many of them as we’d like.
On the flip side, there are relationships that don’t make us feel so good. I’m not referring to the usual cares, concerns, frustrations, arguments and compromise that all relationships face as it grows and changes. These are normal happenings within even the best of relationships. I am referring to the relationships that start to make one feel that there is something wrong with one’s self or where one is afraid to be themselves for fear of harm or ridicule...in-your-face or subtle manipulations that you absorb and start to corrode your own inner self-worth and esteem.
Can unhealthy relationships be online and even affect one’s self-worth and self-esteem?
Of course they can. I know some people shrug this off and consider online relationships not “real” relationships; but they are very real in the sense that you are sharing who you are with another person. Whether you are writing to them or not does not mean that the feedback that you receive can be any less harmful than what you would through direct face to face contact.
Everyone who has begun a relationship online might not even call it that at first, but all the signs are there of a “normal” relationship: the anticipation of talking with that person again; the clicking on your ‘inbox’ several times; the waiting for the other person to be online at the appointed time that you usually chat. These are normal reactions and behaviors when you feel yourself starting to be drawn to an online ‘other.’
But when your chatting or correspondence with your online ‘other’ starts to make you feel bad in some way, this would be a time to sit back and take a break from responding and take a good look at what you are now receiving from this person. Have you noticed that somehow in someway, the pleasure you used to feel with corresponding with this person has started to make you feel worse, not better? This is often a red flag that reads: “Unhealthy.”
Our inner self knows when something doesn’t feel right. Being online is a big advantage when something needs to be terminated quickly and neatly. Don’t forget, you came online to connect with someone in a healthy way in the first place. Don’t lose sight that even online, you have to practice self-care first.